Diapers and Dragons

Monday, May 11, 2009

Would I Do THAT?


When I stayed over at a friend's house on Friday night because we would be getting up early in the morning to get to the massive department-store style Mom-to-Mom sale at her church, and I realized that in my hurry to get out of the house before the kidlets trapped me forever that I had forgotten to pack any clean underwear, I did not simply wear the same underwear two days in a row. And I did not skip a shower in the morning so I could sleep in an extra fifteen minutes. And I did not borrow both toothpaste and deodorant because I'd forgotten those too. *Ahem. Sorry, K!*

And I did not delay cleaning out my car for so long that when I finally tackled it on Friday afternoon, the process was more like clearing out an archeological dig than picking up some trash.

And when one of my students asked a particularly idiotic question, I did not simply stare at him in disbelief and then walk over and actually bang my head on the dry erase board rather than explain why he was wrong.

I also did not then print out an appropriate lolcat and put it up on my board with a magnet. Next to the magnet that says There's nothing wrong with teenagers that trying to reason with them won't AGGRAVATE and another that says Never underestimate the power of a seriously pissed off woman.

Would I do something like that?

For more Not-Me Mondays, check out MckMama's post.

14 bits of love:

Shelly said...

LOL! Speaking teacher to teacher, I totally get why you banged your head on the whiteboard! I had many of those moments when I taught third graders. Found your blog from MckMama's. Happy "not me" Monday!

Anonymous said...

And I definitely did NOT spend time at work catching up on "Diapers and Dragons" in an effort to prolong work re-entry after vacation.
-SoccerSister

Anonymous said...

Wait, let me rephrase that.

"And I definitely did NOT spend time at work catching up on "Diapers and Dragons" in an effort to AVOID work re-entry after vacation.
-SoccerSister

Caleb's Mom said...

I often bang my head against the wall (literally!) with my 4th graders. My coworker and I know when we're "done" when we see the other person with her head against the wall in the hallway. I can relate!! :)

Foursons said...

Great post- thanks for the laughs!

Arby said...

My children never see me banging my head against the wall. That hurts. The children HAVE seen me standing in the corner of the kitchen talking to myself, holding a parent-teacher conference...

GingerB said...

TeacherMommy - how can you skip a day and then post four times?!? Do you sleep? I has a law school professor who banged his head whenever a cetain classmate spoke, it definitely made an impression . . .

oreneta said...

I love it when the eighth kid in a row asks me the same question. I have to admit, they are language learners, so you do actually have to listen attentively to understand my answers, and they are looking at a text in English, but as all we are doing at this point is talking about the vocab, it seems they would listen. I could time the speed they read at by when the same darned word comes up again and again.....

TeacherMommy said...

SoccerSister (dear sister)--and what do you think I spend MY time at work doing these days? :)

Arby--I have a feeling I would be doing the same thing were I homeschooling. My kidlets are still young, and there's NO WAY I'm putting myself through that torture. For them, of course.

GingerB--sleep? What's that?

oreneta--Yeah. This guy doesn't have that excuse. He does speak another language, but he's American. He just doesn't pay attention. If this sort of thing were a rare thing from him, that would be one thing, but...

Heidi said...

"Hon, I’m seriously wondering why you aren’t published officially somewhere….."

No market for random memoirs, I suppose!

Heidi said...

Actually, make that self-centered, somewhat depressing mothering memoirs ;)

All Rileyed Up said...

Oh, I needed a good laugh! :)

I am forever NOT doing any of those things either, especially the cleaning the car one...

Katrina said...

No offense taken - what's a little deoderant between friends . . .

Eric said...

i lol'd at your cat.

rad.

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