Diapers and Dragons

Friday, May 1, 2009

If We Talked Like Our Students, or, Why I Will Always Have A Job

Hey girl! Wassup? Did you hear what went down yesterday?

So, like I was talking to Shanell* and she was all, We totally need to get a wedding gift for Casey*, and I was all, Totally, right? And then Jim* butted in and he was all, I think weddings are gay! She's gonna end up divorced in five years anyway.

I mean, what a loser!

So Shanell was all Keep your mouth shut, dude! And I was like, Seriously! And then Jim was like, J/K! Gotcha, losers!


Are you going to chaperone Prom? Yeah, me either. It's so lame. It's not like we get to dance or anything. It's all keeping the stupid kids from, like, humping each other on the frickin' dance floor!

What are you doing for the Learning Fair? Yeah, I know--totally gay, right? It's not like anyone actually DOES anything for that thing. Chip* was all, Let's make a chart about our vocab quiz grades, and I was, like, Whatev, dude. OMG, that guy can be such a kissass!

Where you going this weekend? Partying anywhere? That's straight. Me? IDK. This town is so totally lame. I can hardly wait for summer!

I gotta go teach now, girl. I know, right?

Peace! Catcha later!

*Names have NOT been changed to protect anyone. Other than me. However, they aren't really like this. At least not out loud. And I loves them. Otherwise I wouldn't involve them in this parody.

9 bits of love:

oreneta said...


Eric said...


Anonymous said...

HIGHLARIOUS... love every silly minute of this one!

merideth said...

huh. i *do* talk like that. oh, all right, not in real life, but i like to tell my (grown) kids i'm bilingual and then overpronounce (? can't think of the right word here) urban colloquialisms.

Beth said...

That was extremely humorous.
I meant: LOL!

PS. I finally got the meme up. Took me a while! Thanks again.

Monica said...

This was, like, so totally great. OMG, you, like, are so there!

Dude, you so totally rock!

mom said...

Just shows you're a linguist too (at least a really good language learner!)! TOOOOOOOOOO fun. (Sorry, this is one language I don't yet speak.)

GingerB said...

And then like, he like waves his arm up and down, almost like a crotch grab and almost like flashing a gang sign, with like, that totally foot shuffle with a hip thrust.

I know that guy!

marymac said...

Um, ok, so I totally talk like this and I am 40, but I think it is a totally radical combination of being a teenager/Valley Girl in the 80s and having a teenage daughter myself. Gag me with a spoon, fer SURE!

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