Diapers and Dragons

Monday, August 3, 2009

I May Feel Like a Zombie, but at Least I'm a Well-Loved Zombie

You know what?

I'm tired.

Just plain old tired, both in the physical and mental way. I could sit here and try to come up with some clever and gorgeously written post on my long weekend in Chicago and all the people I met and learning about how to hold real conversations instead of just trading monologues and hanging out with some awesome twenty-somethings who let me pretend I'm not well on my way into the next decade and dancing to live Egyptian music and staying up late sharing life stories and all that sort of exhausting social stuff.

But I'm not. Maybe later.

Right now I'm physically drained from staying up late so much and walking a lot and the long trip home (which didn't end until 2:30 ay-em, peoples) and the energy it takes to interact with so many strangers. Even if many of them aren't strangers any more.

Right now I'm emotionally drained from having (again) interacted with so many strangers in a non introvert-in-her-shell sort of way, and from having been away from my kidlets for so long with two days to go, and from many bouts of tears as I shared my story and heard others', and from coming back into the reality of my uncertain life.

I do come back, however, with the comforting knowledge that I am not alone in my uncertainty and sense of being in limbo. I am not alone in my struggles and my desire to understand what God wants from and for me in this time. I am not alone, for God continues to bless me with gifts of love and support and friendship, every way I turn.

So thank you, friends and loved ones, old and new. I love you too.

4 bits of love:

Kathleen said...

It does help to know you're not alone, doesn't it?? Glad you made some new friends, even if it was outside your comfort zone!

Arby said...

I was wondering when we'd hear from you. Glad to see you returned home safely.

mom said...

I'm glad you had the courage to reach out, out of your comfort zone; to let others reach out to you, and share your pain and your path to growth. I'm so glad you went! Thanks for sharing the journey.

MomZombie said...

From one zombie to another: You are not alone. I give you points for at least getting the post written and hitting publish. I have a bunch of garbled nonsense in my drafts folder. Take care of yourself.

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