I'm learning. It's slow, it's gradual, but it's becoming more and more real and natural as each day goes on. I'll never be June Cleaver, but it's possible, just possible, that I might become a Good Mommy.
Not just a Good Mother, you see. I am that. When it comes to taking care of the necessities, making sure my children are well fed and dressed, clean and healthy, cared for in the ways that make them strong and beautiful and brilliant, I can do that. I've been doing that for years.
I'm talking about the Good Mommy aspect: not trying to just keep out of the dark, not hoping that I'm doing just enough to get by as a parent. I mean enjoying my children. I mean having far more patience with their annoying and aggravating aspects, even finding humor in the crazy moments. I mean noticing, even while getting frustrated with my DramaBoy because he's fooling around instead of getting dressed when I've asked him to do so umpteen times, that he just executed a perfect somersault. And then praising him and encouraging him to show it off a few more times, even though it means a couple minutes' delay. I mean deciding to just laugh to myself about the endless stream of poop jokes coming from the backseat rather than getting irritated and grossed out. I mean taking the time to sit with my son and watch the game he's playing on his Leapster, encouraging and praising him, rather than dismissing his request with a list of No, honey, I have to...s.
I mean perhaps, just possibly, being willing to take the risk of loving my children completely.
And that is a lesson worth learning.
10 years ago
5 bits of love:
Yes!!! You'll grow into into the Good Mommy role, just paying attention to it, and to them. I love the moment of somersaults while getting dressed (what energy!!) You're a trooper. Single-mommying is a big challenge.
Yes! You'll become that Good Mommy you long to be as you follow your heart and learn to pay attention to it, and to them -- like that wonderful moment, noticing the great somersaults while supposedly getting dressed! (What energy.:))) Single mommying is an extra challenge. Du courage!
We all learn how to be good "mommies" through experience. I'm a much better mommy to my 4 year old than I was to my oldest when she was the same age. I have more patience now. I understand this is my last chance to parent a preschooler. Soon she too will be one road test away from a driver's license and filling out applications for her first job. Some days it's a joy to do the mommy things. Other days, I just want to run away. (You are not alone on this one.) Sometimes the simplest little ritual can mean the world to our children.
Taking the time to be present is such a challenge for me. Thanks for reminding me that it is SO worth it!!
I just hope how much I ejoy them shows through the yelling I also show them sometimes. Arrgghh.
Post a Comment