Diapers and Dragons

Monday, January 18, 2010

Some Styles Should Just Die a Quiet Death

O. M. G.

When I decided to declutter every custody weekend as my New Year resolution, I knew I'd probably come across some interesting finds. What I found the other night...Wow.

This weekend, since I was taken up with tending to snotty noses and cabin feverish kidlets, I decided to be ruthless with my hanging clothes, since that would be simple enough and wouldn't make much noise after bedtime. I grabbed a heavy duty garbage bag and waded in. Shirts that are baggy with much washing...gone. Skirts that haven't been worn in four years...pitched. Dresses that were given to me and never worn more than once or twice...bye bye.  And the contents of that hanging bag that is falling apart with age...HOLY CRAP.

Inside were two dresses that looked more like costumes than actual clothing items, at least to the contemporary eye. One was the equivalent of my prom dress, the dress I wore as a senior to the Junior-Senior Banquet back in 1995. Why have I kept it for nearly fifteen years, schlepping it across international waters and from abode to abode all this time? Pure sentimentality. Not for the night itself, which was rather forgettable (I didn't even have a date, though neither did a lot of other girls--there was a severe deficiency of males), but because I had chosen the fabrics and pattern as a sophomore while in the States, and my mother had made the dress for me for my senior year.

Somehow I can tell that the years 1993 and 1995 were involved:



In case you can't tell in this very poor-quality cell phone photo, it is made out of emerald green satin, the top part of which is solid sequins, with a large bow/fabric flower at the angled waist. And let's not forget the puffy sleeves.

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Oh, that's right. It was the 90s. And I was a sophomore when I chose it, and the definition of "sophomore" is "wise fool"--i.e. someone who thinks she knows everything but doesn't.

And then there was this slinky black cocktail-style dress, also straight out of the late 80s/early 90s. I don't know if I ever wore it. I don't remember how I got it. But it stayed with me, just in case (of what, I have no idea):



The photo doesn't even come close to showing just how bad it really is. This one is also satin, though at least there are no sequins involved. There are, however, padded shoulders, a line of rhinestones adorning the (invisible in this photo) swath of extraneous fabric dangling from the waist, and (also invisible in this photo) lots and lots of ruching down the full-length sleeves and in the back. Leading down to the long almost-train of fabric ready to snag on one's heels at any time, of course.

Wow.

I'd be cringing in embarrassment if I didn't think I have a better handle on fashion nowadays. Though of course I'll probably be saying the same thing about what I wear now in another fifteen years.

The good thing? I still fit in them! And I got a good chuckle AND a blog post out of the discovery.

Who said cleaning can't be fun?

11 bits of love:

Lauren said...

You look so lovely in that green!

Kristen @ Motherese said...

In some ways I think we're lucky to have come of age in the 80s and 90s instead of being adolescent girls today. While we may look back and giggle at satiny swaths of fabric, at least we weren't completely exposed, with our boob and butt cleavage hanging out for the world to see.

And, you know, my sister-in-law could make some pretty slamming outfits out of those cocktail dresses. Your loss just may be the gain of crafty sewers who find them at your local Good Will!

michelle said...

I LOVE throwing out crap. It's like a good loofah salt scrub and makes me feel all clean and unburdened.

And terrorist fist jab for still fitting into the prom dress after 15 years and 2 babies. Awesome!

Beth said...

ITA on the fact that you deserve a hearty "Woohoo! Good for you!" for fitting into your high school togs after all these years.
Also- the first dress really made me laugh because I have the SAME one!!! It's in dark blue satin and velvet, but has the same puffed sleeves and assymetrical waistline. I'm glad I kept it though, because my girls have found it very useful for Halloween costumes!

Arby said...

So...ah...how long is the teacher's list of excuses for not getting papers graded on time? Now that's a blog post.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

I didn't think the black one looked bad at all - glad you added the explanations! And, you STILL fit them. 2 kidlets later. :-))) That is quite something indeed.

You are that bit younger than me, meaning that my dresses are classic MID 80s. Oh my giddy aunt.

One day they'll all be back in fashion though!

Mommy, I'm Home said...

That green one is the stuff of nightmares. Good for you for tossing it.

Monica said...

The first thing I thought when I saw the first photo is: she totally fits in it still! Good for you!

:)

GingerB said...

I have a tube top (blue horizontal stripes) that I keep, not with the intention that I will ever again put it on, but just to serve as a reminder of things. Not good things, just things.

Nicola said...

Ha ha ha! I had a similar dress to the green one too and thought I was the bees knees when I wore it. What was I thinking? I was in my 20s at the time! Just goes to show that I wasn't quite as smart in my 20s as I thought I was.

And it has set me wondering...what favourite piece of clothing that is currently in my wardrobe and gets worn with affection will I be lambasting in 20 years time? I don't want to think about it too deeply in case I come up with some answers here and now and am unable to ever venture out of the house again.

MomZombie said...

Ooh, I know those dresses are awful by today's standards but I enjoyed every minute of the "Dynasty" fashions of the '80s. I had one of those little hats with the netting that fell over the eyes. I had the long black gloves, and a whole collection of big-shouldered, shiny, glittery dresses with peplum. I loved it all at the time. I need to dig up some pictures from my mother's photo albums and show you!

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