Diapers and Dragons

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

So Do I Come Out Even?

When I headed into the mall with the kidlets yesterday, I did note the lack of diaper bag in the car. Oh well, I thought, I just changed the Widget's diaper before we came here. And their grandma said he had a poopy diaper already this morning, so he should be good to go, so to speak.

Ah, the foolish confidence of the disorganized mom.

I had forgotten another key piece of information that their grandma passed on to me--to wit, the Widget had consumed a small cup of milk and had milk with his cereal that morning. Non-lactose-free milk. Regular milk. Doom-in-the-diaper milk.

We ate our Sbarro's pizza with a minimum of fuss, and then the kidlets charmed/weaseled/coerced me into spending some moolah on the outrageously expensive mechanized rides placed in the food court, just in case we parents hadn't already spent enough money. As the Widget crawled out of a little jeep, I caught a whiff.

That deadly stench.

The one that means this is more than just a nugget of excrement nestled in the diaper.

Sure enough, the slightest movement of his diaper top revealed the swamp stored within. And then I spotted it--the slowly spreading spot on his shorts.

With no diaper, no wipes, no change of clothes. Even if I DID snatch an overpriced pair of shorts from Baby Gap, where was I going to get what goes underneath?

So in desperation, we marched out the doors into the sweltering heat of the parking lot to the car, where I threatened the Widget with dire consequences if he even thought about moving and jostling anything, and I crawled through the landfill that is my Saturn Vue in search of hidden treasure.

And lo! there was a pair of denim shorts lying on the rear seat--no idea why, but they had no visible signs of gunkiness, so onwards! And lo! there was a forgotten container of wipes wedged under the driver's seat. And lo! there was one unused diaper buried under the detritus and boxes of used books in the cargo area. I only had to brush off a couple pieces of dust and it was practically clean.

I'm just not sure how this works out in the score books. Points lost for forgetting the diaper bag (which wouldn't have held a change of shorts anyhow, since I forgot to replace the last emergency pair we used). Points won--sort of--for being disorganized and sloppy enough to actually have all the pieces needed scattered about the car. If I'd cleaned it out like I planned about, oh, five weeks ago, I wouldn't have had the shorts or the diaper. (The wipes would have stayed, just in a better spot.)

What's your verdict, bookie?

18 bits of love:

Rachael said...

Wow, talk about lucky! I say you came out ahead ;)

The Kampers said...

nice!

Arby said...

Ah...the memories of desparate searches through vehicles for one last renegade diaper during a diaper emergency. We've even been known to use diapers two sizes too small, found in the trunk after a diaper bag spill that was never cleaned up. Duct tape makes a fantastic diaper extender! It does not matter how you came to be in the bind. All that matters is that you successfully escaped!

Kathleen said...

I say you score all around. 1 for being adventurous and plowing onward even with the forgotten diaper bag. And at least a 3-pointer for unearthing the other necessities in your car.

We've been out of diapers for a couple of years, but I bet you could still find one in our van if you looked hard enough. I hate the mess, but we always have that bandaid/napkin/wipe/37cents/change-o-clothes/pen/straw/game/movie/tampon that we need in case of emergency. All in one van. Gotta love it!

Kathleen said...

OK, so WE don't ALL need the tampon, but you get the idea! ;)

TwilightGirl said...

You can do what I do: Since my hubby insists on removing every shred of evidence that could prove we were ever in the car, I put in a small plastic drawer, the kind you find in the rubbermaid aisle for organization, under the back seat. It holds the emergency stuff I occasionally forget to take with us: diapers, wipes, tylonol (both for me and the kids,) a snack, small toys, and "feminine items." It has been a life-saver and hubby doesn't even know it's there!!! *snicker*

Beth said...

Total Win in my estimation. The day was saved and that's what matters.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Not disorganised, but deliberately brilliant methodically thinking forward planning for the unexpected.

Read the comments on Bloomin marvelous for a great nappy emergency story.
http://bloominmavelous.blogspot.com/2009/07/bad-mummy.html

Becky said...

My verdict is to just forget about the points and throw away the "scorebook"! :-)

Mummy said...

I am so very, very impressed that you had anything at all to use. More than once I have had to, ahem, recycle.

Icky.

GingerB said...

I have begged diapers off total strangers. I have just transported the child home dirty and sitting on a plastic bag tucked between child and seat. I say you were a complete and total mommy success today. Pass GO and collect $200.

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

I was lucky with my 5yo - he had the best timing. Its like he knew to never poop unless we're home. He still has that kind of timing. However, my 2yo daughter has the worst timing - she fills that diaper the minute we are in the worst spot: church, restaurant, the middle of nowhere. Its also funny that with the second one, I got less organized and less willing to drag around a huge diaper bag.

Mwa said...

The ones that spread are the worst.

sAm said...

yet another valid argument against keeping a clean car!

merideth said...

total score! i always have germ-x and usually drive-thru napkins in the glove compartment = very linty wipes in an emergency. (although, as a germophobe, i also have wipes, lol)

i cleaned out my jeep several weeks ago (after only a year!) and found a lot of money!

merideth said...

p.s. twilightgirl is my hero(ine)! i'm so looking for one at walmart today. also? forgot to say, my brother calls those particular diaper incidents "assplosions"

MomZombie said...

I say you win in the end because you found what you needed, even if it was because of a messy car. You win because you and your children were able to walk in and out of the mall with your heads held high and noses unplugged.
I had a similar experience last year, with far different results:
http://www.mom-zombie.com/2008/09/the-scent-of-a-stay-at-home-woman/
I'm going out to my car right after I send this comment and make sure my emergency supplies are in place.
P.S. My word verification is guepol. (Gooey pool?) Are these things rigged?

Dad said...

You definitely won, my dear. If I could get away with it, I would probably take the same type of approach to stuff. I may use it someday so why file or put it away? I was not so fortunate with the Widget that one day when he and I went out in our car. I just needed to go to a bank and as there was a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop right next door. We had a great time but then I noticed a significant odor and a dampness spreading rapidly down his leg. A quick check revealed the mother of all loads and I had NOTHING in that nice clean car. I put him in the car in his car seat and drove home quickly with the car seat filling and running over onto the seat of the car! What a mess as you remember. So, let the clutter remain, I say!!!

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