Diapers and Dragons

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Just Don't Bring Me Back Some Stupid T-Shirt

If you follow any mommy blogs (other than mine, of course, you brilliant individual with sterling taste), you may have noticed a minor trend in topic. The topic that has something to do with some conference off in Chicago that starts with Blog and ends with Her. Yeah, that one.

The one I'm NOT going to.

The one that apparently 3/4 of my blogger friends and acquaintances and mommy-blogger-goddesses-who-don't-know-I-exist ARE going to.

Even the tweets have been invaded.

There I sit, minding my own business, obsessing mildly over blog and Twitter updates, searching for something entertaining to read and comment on or tweet a reply to (oh lordy, the preposition abuse in this post must end!) and there rolls in blog post after blog post and tweet after tweet about BlogHer.

Whatever shall I wear?

Look what I found to wear!

I need a roommate!

I lost my room and need someone who needs a roommate!

Should I fly or drive? I am terrified of flying but oy! the drama of trying to drive all the way there and is there anyone who would drive with me so that we can talk about BlogHer all the way there?

The cries for sponsors, the advice, the moaning, the laughing, the countdown.

Oh, and the angst. The mother guilt about leaving children behind for a few days and is this selfish of me?!? Don't get me started: chances are if it was a father leaving for a conference in Chicago lasting a handful of days, no one would think twice. Stupid society double standard.

Wow, do I sound bitter. I thought this post might be mildly amusing, and lo! It smacks of quinine instead.

Self-analysis time. Do I wish I was going to BlogHer? Well, kind of. It sounds very exciting and I would get to meet lots of bloggers I admire and read on a daily basis. The panels and seminars would be entertaining and educational, and I could come away with contacts and friends and tips on how to improve my blog.


I'm not exactly the social butterfly when it comes to rooms full of people I don't know. And BlogHer would be that on a ridiculous scale. So I would most likely be hovering in a corner, making a few false starts and retreats that would leave me looking like some pitiful wannabe trying out for So You Think You Can Dance. That is, when I wasn't following Melissa from Rock & Drool around like a scared puppy. Cuz she's going. And I know her in real life, so she could be my front, my tugboat, my icebreaker. (Happy Anniversary, hon! You give me hope...)

Also? There's the matter of money. A LOT of money. Money I don't have, no how, no way, and wouldn't even have a chance of saving up if I started now for next year.

So I'm going to take my bitter little self, shake it off, remind myself I'm happy for all those girls (and a few boys--hey there Neilochka, if you ever come over to read me!) who get to head off and have a grand old time. I'll even read all the Twitters and posts and whatnot that will no doubt be flooding in during and after the week, and perhaps I'll even leave comments that are low on the snarkiness scale.

Besides, it's been too long since I've seen my babies, and tomorrow I get to pick them up and hug them and hear all their chatter and get sloppy kisses.

So have fun, all you BlogHerites, and maybe if I can get a sponsor I'll join you there next year!

I'll be the one in the corner doing a weird little dance.

15 bits of love:

thediaperdiaries said...

I have been in your shoes for the last 2 years. Sitting in envy and annoyance that EVERYONE seemed to be going. But in truth there are a ton not going and some cool stuff going on in the mommy blogosphere for those that aren't. I prefer Blissdom anyway. You should look into that one in the fall in Nashville. Much smaller, less overwhelming and FAR less intimidating.

Aludra said...

I feel the same exact way about Blizzcon.
And Comic-con.
And E3.

I want to be a professional nerd!!

Mwa said...

I feel the same. But last year I was envious AND I didn't have a blog. So this year I'm at least one step closer.

Anonymous said...

At least your post doesn't smack of Quinimax. That'd be A LOT worse. And our ears would be ringing after a dose of your blog ;)
Besides, if you DID go on a trip to Chicago instead of BOSTON, you would have to deal with a very upset SoccerSister. So what if Boston is 8 to 10 hours further away? At least you'd get free room and board in a very cheerful yellow bedroom! and you COULD bring along the boys to avoid any feelings of guilt or missing them (Good point about the "guiltiness" factor and mothers vs. fathers, etc. I think when we have kids, I will make sure MuttonChopsHubby feels guilty any time he travels away from the kidlets - you know I'm all for egalitarianism ;).
- SoccerSister

melissa said...

i'll bring you a barrette. ;)

Draft Queen said...

I'm also not going to BlogHer. (But my likeness is!)

And if I were going and you were there, you wouldn't be hanging out in a corner, because I'm totally the type of girl to drag you around and make you have fun. My blog can be kind of a downer, but I'm a hell of a good time. (This is because I'm secretly manipulative and even I don't know I'm doing it. I force people into fun.)

We will have fun while they are away.. if we put our heads together (not literally of course, that would hurt) I'm sure we can come up with some fun times.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Us Mummy bloggers over the pond are looking with amazement at BlogHer. There is nothing like that over here. We've only just got a social networking site. We don't really understand it, but The Times has sent a reporter to find out what is going on and report back. The old PR blackout seems to be the main topic of interest, but other things like where are American blogs going is also causing a lot of interest.

I like blogs that are strong on content, well written and make me laugh. ie. yours. There are a lot of Mommy blogs that I don't like very much!

Stone Fox said...

yeah, i think i might be too f*cking cool for BlogHer. so f*cking cool i wouldn't be allowed in the front door because my coolness would overwhelm everyone.

or, in reality, i have zero dollars to attend such an event, zero people to take care of my kids, and i am too shy to do anything but (like you) stand in a corner and wait for other people to initiate conversation. i don't need to spend thousands of dollars to feel awkward in a public place. that is what swimming pools are for.

GingerB said...

TeacherMommy - you are a blog star! Five Start Friday, your followers are going up and up, I think you are on your way. And hell, I'm not going either. I'm just leaving bitterness behind on this one until I actually get a masthead, feeder, and blogroll up. I am too lame to go.

Beth said...

I've been wanting to go for years, but as I've always been in France, Burkina, or some other outlandish place, I've never even had a hope of going.
Let's agree to both have a great day today! We'll be kind to ourselves, have fun with our kids and maybe write a couple of great posts on our blogs?
What do you say?

oreneta said...

I feel a little ambivalent about it all too....It would be nice to go, but oh so impossible.....

LoriM said...

Smacks of quinine! Ha! And SoccerSister - are you trying to tell us something with the sentence about MuttonChopHubby and the kidlets? I know - it's a stretch. But this auntie wants more great-nieces and nephews.

Anonymous said...

there was no hidden message or hint in my note ;)
we have a grand greyhound and grand chinchilla, though :)
- SoccerSister

MomZombie said...

As you know, I'm not going to that thing over in Chicago either. Part of me is curious, you know, in a fly-on-the-wall kind of way. But I know me, after one day I'd be eyeing the exit signs. Too much estrogen under one roof. I'd love to attend something on a smaller scale someday.

Daisy said...

I've never gone, either. I envy those who go, but not enough to invest $$ in the conference. I'm not good at networking and Big Parties, and it seems that those are the highlights. It may not seem that way, but you and I are not alone! Many bloggers stay home this week.

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