Diapers and Dragons

Monday, October 19, 2009

two days late

i know it was a year
two days ago
i started this thing called a blog
thought i'd be clever
thought i'd share a few words
thought i'd pretend to be well-put-together

it's amazing how when there's an audience
for your Self put into code
sent out on the silicon veins
shot out over satellite waves
the truth has a way of coming out
creeping through the lines of lies
and half-truths
and shallow observations

and when the world comes crashing down
it's there
real for once

so i took a break
didn't know if i'd return
or if the words would remain
silent in their wondering
what happened
and where did i go

and after three months
with a new attitude
time to be raw and real
and mix in a little humor
write what i know
write what i am
write what i would like to be

it's been a year
but a year of such change
such upheaval and pain
discovery and loss
stretching and learning
failing and growing
and still wondering
what will happen
and where will i go

it's hard not to plan
not to predict
not to jump a mile ahead
press fast-forward
take a short-cut through the woods
and forget the path
i'd rather skip the next few months
there's too much that's unknown

but that's not how it works
the process of time
is necessary and cannot be voided
a time machine would only land me
where i'd be unprepared for what has changed
experience is painful
but experience makes up Self

and so i'll write
and post
and learn
and grow
and fail
and grow some more

through pain and healing
sorrow and joy
evil and good

and even though i'm two days late
i'll send this out to you
my readers
who watch me in my journey
as witnesses to my words

and i'll say
wherever i go
wherever this next year takes me
thank you
and thank you
and thank you again
and may the words mean more
than a vacant babbling in the wind

11 bits of love:

Arby said...

There once was a girl near Detroitly,
Who wrote many words quite adroitly.
She shared of her pain,
And some of her shame,
In personal blogs she wrote noightly.

Kathleen said...

OK, while I try my very best to ignore Arby's little poem, let me just say that I am glad you decided to go transparent. I hope it has helped you in some way. And may God's blessing be on you in heaps and heaps as you mark this year off!

MomZombie said...

Happy blogging anniversary. It's not just a passion, it's a journey.

GingerB said...

"and may the words mean more
than a vacant babbling in the wind"

I love it!!

And I really, really enjoy your blog, so keep on keeping on, and happy blogiversary!

Heidi said...

I have loved being back in touch with you for the umpteenth time and hearing about your life through your blog makes you feel that little bit closer!

Here's to another year of growth (hopefully with a little less pain!)

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

I really really love your blog. So please keep it going for many years to come. x

Dad said...

dry season
smusty (smoky + dusty)

rainy season

I don’t like dry seasons in my life. Yet the stress causes my root system to go deeper and enables me to withstand this season as I yearn for the rain and the green that results.

“They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season without fail. Their leaves never wither, and in all they do, they prosper.” Psalms 1:3 New Living Translation

Arby said...

Hey, Kathleen! If Curly Howard said it you would have laughed!

Arby said...

Nyuck! Nyuck!

mom said...

I'm with GingerB. You know, your words do mean more than a vacant babbling in the wind, every time, even when you don't know it. They express your heart, your sense of humor, your courageous attempts to make sense of the pain and to share special moments with some people who care. And we do care.

So keep it up. Be careful in your transparency, be honest in your caution, and keep on being adroit. In Detroit. (Or the neighborhood.) And always, as Dad says, let your roots grow deep so that you are nourished through every dry season.

Draft Queen said...

I think I'm totally spending my blogiversary in Michigan...

(Random thought by me.)

Yay for your blog! And for your posts!

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