Diapers and Dragons

Friday, September 18, 2009

I Don't Know Why This Keeps Happening to Me. He's the Third One. And Those Health and Biology Teachers Need to Step It Up a Notch.

11th Grade Male Student: Ms. TeacherMommy, you are my BOI!

Ms. TeacherMommy: Sorry. I am not your BOI. I am nobody's BOI. I don't want to be a BOI.

Student: But you have to be my BOI!

Ms. TM: I am not a BOI. I don't have the plumbing for it. I'm also not your GURL, so don't even go there.

Student: Well then...you can be my COOL PERSON.

Ms. TM: That doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? "Yo, you're my COOL PERSON!"

Student: Okay, well then, you're my ZEUS.

Ms. TM: Nope. Zeus is male. Remember? I'm not male. No desire to be male.

Student: Well then, you're my FEMALE ZEUS!

Ms. TM: Um. No. Pick an actual goddess if you're going to go that route.

Student: Fine. You're my MEDUSA!

Ms. TM: Seriously? She's not even a goddess! She's a monster! You're saying I'm a monster? With hair made of snakes and the face that turns people into stone?

Another 11th Grade Male Student: Her hair is definitely not made out of snakes.

Student #1: But she does have that death stare.

Student #2: True.

Ms. TM: True. I do have that stare. I suppose that's okay.

Student #1: Ms. TeacherMommy, you're my MEDUSA!

Hey, at least he's learning his mythology and basic biology.

8 bits of love:

The Kampers said...

hahahahahah oh my word! High schoolers are stinkin hilarious!

Arby said...

No desire to be male? Your perspective on the world would be entirely different if you had a penis. Although I have been told they lower th IQ about fifty points...

sAm said...

Medusa is way cool. Seriously. Think about it - at a glance, she could turn men to stone. Go ahead - piss ME off! And...those snakes - think about how much money and time you could save! Wonder if you have to feed the snakes, though? Wait...never mind...I have an irrational fear of snakes. Darn. Well - the turning men to stone is still pretty cool!

GingerB said...

What is a BOI? Am I completely out of touch? I heard of a MILF (not me!! just the concept!!) and was fairly shocked. I have not quite recovered.

Draft Queen said...

You are so my boi.

I think I should like hanging out in the back of your class for a week or so. Then I could say I remember 11th grade, it just happened. (Hey, in 11th grade I transferred to college spring semester so I'm really only forgetting half the year. Right?)

Heidi said...

Mmm, definitely Medusa over Zeus. I've never had any desire to be male either.

Dad said...

Dear, I am glad you admit that you have that stare that can turn people into stone - or at least their insides (or maybe it is jelly). I have been at the receiving end of that stare, but as your father, I have some immunity to it - not so your students - poor things. But then I suppose there are those who really do deserve it.

I do agree, however, that snakes for hair would be difficult - what would the kidletts think about that?

MomZombie said...

After spending a little bit of time at my high-school-aged daughter's school, I say be Medusa if you have to be. I don't think I'd survive a day inside a high school. I was seriously traumatized.

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