Diapers and Dragons

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

This Post Is Kind Of R-Rated But I Can't Help It And Would You Please Forgive Me Mom/SoccerSister/Grandma And Everyone Else Who Might Get Offended?

I've had a bleary dreary horrific few days filled with all sorts of angst and NO I'm not going to go into it here because I'd rather not be quite THAT transparent and if you're on the Need To Know List I've either already talked to you about it or will eventually...

BUT!

This morning when I opened up my GMail I discovered a message from the marvelous Brit in Bosnia/Fraught Mummy and found out that SHE HAD GIVEN ME AN AWARD ON HER BLOG!!!!! And since it's been an awfully long time since I've gotten an award (oh, senior year in high school, where has your academic glory gone?), I am more than thrilled--read, chuckling with glee down in my very soul--to be given one.

Except.

Um.

It kind of involves a naughty word. And while I certainly am not blameless where uttering naughty words is concerned, I have tried, at least recently and at least on this blog, to replace this one with the less offensive euphemism "frickin'".

Yeah. You get what I'm saying.

But it's an AWARD!!! And there's even a little official award picture/widget/whatever they're called and I'm supposed to list five things I currently obsess about and then give the award to five blogs in turn. So it's not like I can just change the name or anything. Sorry, Grandma. Please forgive me.

So the lovely and very internationale (you're supposed to say that with a French pronunciation--"in-tare-nah-see-ohn-all"--to make it all elegant and stuff) Fraught Mummy has given me the (brace yourself) Your Blog Is Fucking Fabulous award.


See? I told you. But I'm still chortling with glee.

So--five current obsessions:

1. So You Think You Can Dance season five, for which I will apparently willingly give up sleep in order to not miss out on every fabulous minute of dancing heaven. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show. I'm not a fan of American Idol or Dancing with the Stars or whatever that's called or a number of those other cheesy competition shows (sorry folks who are...) but SYTYCD just makes my heart happy. For one thing, once you get past the auditions (where there are "dancers" just as bad as those "singers" on the AI auditions), every dance is amazing, even the ones that aren't as good. And the ones that are truly amazing? They've brought me to tears. Literally. This is probably the one single show that FOX produces that I consider worth watching. (I told you--obsessed!)

2. Cherry Coke. Which is really really really bad for my waistline. A student just showed up this morning with a twelve-pack of CC for me. Sweet child. He shall not be condemned to everlasting greyness in the Ashes of Obnoxious Teenagers jar. However, in the interest of stopping the expansion of my waist/thighs/jowls/impending turkey neck, I have decided that once finals are done, I am giving up pop for the summer. Sort of a Mid Year resolution. I'm sticking to water and unsweetened iced tea this summer. (Trust me, not having sugar in my iced tea isn't a sacrifice. I prefer about three lemons. I will survive.)

3. Naomi Novik's Temeraire novels, all of which I have now read on my Kindle, and if she doesn't write any more to tell the story of what happens to Laurence and Temeraire in Australia, I shall weep many bitter tears!!! If you're a fan of alternative history/fantasy novels and dragons, not to mention well-written books, you so need to check these out. I kept ordering the next novel as soon as I finished each book.

4. The end of the school year. I have five days of students remaining. And three of them are half days (that I see students, at least). Summer cannot come soon enough. I'm just trying to hold it together well enough to not bite these teens' snarky little heads off. You'll have to check with all those bodies stumbling around to see how successful I've been.

5. Blogging. Surprise surprise! If I go a day without checking blogs, reading my GMail for comments, and hopefully having something worthwhile posting, a little part of me withers inside. I'm with Fraught Mummy though--there's no way I can start Twittering or I'll NEVER get anything done. I'm resisting that addiction with all my will.

And now to award five f***ing fabulous blogs in turn (keep in mind I'm leaving out the blogs whose authors may be less than thrilled to receive this particular award, sigh):

1. GingerB at Gas-Food-Lodging, because she's very real, she has adorable kidlets, and she's a redhead. I'm fond of redheads.

2. Heidi at Hortus Deliciarum, because not only is she one of my oldest (as in from a long time ago--she's my age and I am NOT OLD) friends, but she's a brilliant and very Real writer and doesn't get nearly as much traffic as her blog deserves.

3. Julia at Julia {Here Be Hippogriffs}, because she and her writing and her brilliant kidlets are just exactly f***ing fabulous. Enough said.

4. MommyTime at Mommy's Martini, because I am frequently challenged intellectually by her posts and chuckle at others, and because she is also a teacher mommy in Michigan (even if she is at the college level instead).

5. Beth Fish at so the fish said, because I just plain enjoy her blog. As do many other people. Even if she keeps saying she's not all that interesting. Obviously she's wrong.

There you go! You may now close your mouth (you know, from the shock and horror and all) and go on your way.

14 bits of love:

mom said...

Let me be the first to congratulate you! As your most faithful follower, I know just why you got the award. I agree! You're right, I wouldn't use that word, but I have read it all over the place, and being a linguist, I recognize dialects and the blindness to real meaning that comes with everyday use of such words. After all, the word in question is one of the few (700, if remember correctly) Saxon words still left in our Anglo-Saxon language (having originally been the politically correct word for the conjugal action; it was the one used by the lower class so eventually, as new nobilities came on the scene, became the vulgar word). How's that for a level-headed scientific rationale for the evolution of the term? Used in the way your award uses it, it is just a modern slang version of "fabulous." How language metamorphoses!! And I love linguistics. And you. So there.

mom said...

Well, already I need to edit my comment, as a scientist. I said that f**ing meant "fabulous" now, in this context, and that is incorrect -- since it is a modifier of the word "fabulous." Forgot that little fact. So here it actually means "truly," or "amazingly," or some similar intensifier. Whew -- glad I caught that.

Arby said...

"...the blindness to real meaning that comes with everyday use of such words." That's a fantastic observation on mom's part.

Congratulations on your freakin' award! It's fornicating-ly fantastic, mating-ly magnificent and coitus-ly cool! I'm sorry to hear that you've had a string of difficult days and I do hope they improve. I really did enjoy your poem on yesterday's blog.

LoriM said...

Congrats - and I think that is frackin' hilarious. May you get many more-genteelely-named awards. I think you will.

Kathleen said...

Your mom is funny...I've known her all my life and didn't know she was so smart or funny. ;)

I am mad. My DVR did not record SYTYCD last week while I was away. It was on, though, wasn't it? I suppose there's no way you could email YOUR DVR recording of it, is there??

Heidi said...

Hurray for you!!

I'll post on this as soon as I can catch up.

Have been meaning to read the Temeraire novels for AGES. Currently loving Laurie King's Mary Russell novels - the first, if you haven't read them yet, is "Beekeeper's Apprentice".

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! That's frackin' awesome!
By the way, did I MENTION that I got to go to SYTYCD live in Philly last year?
- SoccerSister

Monica said...

Awesome! And your mom is freakin' fabulous too.

GingerB said...

Over here in Utah, our popular alternatives include flippin' and fetchin' as well as freakin' when in polite company.

I am honored TeacherMommy, thank you for spreading the flippin' blog love.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

Oops - sorry - didn't mean to cause such a dilemma. Swearing is bad. But, damn it is fun. And my children can't read it (yet) so it doesn't count.

Glad you enjoyed the award. May you receive many more. And keep on blogging loads, because I love your blog!

Beth Fish said...

Oh my F'ng G'd! I'm blushing! Thank you so much.

Julia said...

Oh thank you so much!

You made my day.

MommyTime said...

I am so behind in email and blog reading because I've been working on a deadline for the last two weeks. But thank you thank you for putting me in such great company. I am honored. Really. I so appreciate this.

And your mom is one hilarious and very smart woman.

Anne said...

hey.. just a drive by hi.. and to let you know that cherry dr pepper is WAY better than cherry coke, from the girl who used to be addicted to cherry coke... :)

btw what server are you on in WoW?

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