In Which I Have A Guest Blogger And Prove What An Awesome Hostess I Am. I Hardly Even Made Her Wipe Her Shoes Off Before She Came In.

So you know I've been all tongue-tied and whatnot over here, with the occasional exception, and I was whining a bit (no really, I whine sometimes) (I know, it's a shock) to DraftQueen and then begged her to rescue me with a guest post and LO AND BEHOLD here it is. 

Seriously, I big puffy heart that woman. Even though some silly little details like crazy and mysterious health issues (I mean really, who needs to breathe?) prevented her from coming here to Michigan this month. Le sigh. I forgive.

She has a companion piece going up over on her blog today, so feel free to go see what it says. I have a feeling it may be a little less PG-rated, though, mind you. Heehee.

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I'm taking over this here blog.

I have permission, you see. TeacherMommy said I could invade her bloggy space and throw some content at you.

I didn't make any real promises as to what the content may be, however. Though I mentioned I'd try to keep it clean. If you have ever read my blog you know that it's a grammatically incorrect free-for-all onto which I spill whatever is on my mind.

My mind isn't G-rated.

Which isn't to say it's X rated.

You know, all the time. What I'm saying is I have a tendency to use "mature" language.

I'm trying to avoid X rated and mature language. Which is hard. Something I am completely capable of. I am, after all, a well educated woman.

If your definition of "well educated" is been in college since forever and still lacks a degree.

Sure, I have certificates in a few areas: birth and post partum doula; lactation consultant; phlebotomist, but I lack a "normal" degree.

I've been in college since January 1996. Yes, I know that was 14 years ago. I took some time off to do things like obtain those certificates and breed.

I think if they awarded degrees in switching majors, I'd have 2 with a minor in switching schools. I started as an early elementary education major; it lasted one semester. I had to do a practicum with actual kindergartners and I realized this was not a job I could do daily until I hit retirement age.

Or 25.

I can't remember the path I took to get to my current degree-in-progress but I can tell you the list of majors I have had is somewhat long. I think they include everything except math-based majors.

Math makes my head hurt.

Which was why I stopped being a business major. (Who knew there was all that math involved? Certainly not me.)

I was really good at the science related majors; better in the life sciences. I guess that's why I haven't ditched my dream of becoming a midwife, but please don't tell my fiance that. He is under the impression that once I finish my current plans I am going to stick with a job in the profession that corresponds with my current education.

I don't know why he would think that. My current job doesn't reflect my educational goals and it certainly could.

So what's my major?

I'm currently a US Government History major. And a Political Science Major. With a minor in life science and a minor in legal studies. My minors are finished, which is why they are tacked on there. (If you want to get all degree-technical, I'll be earning my Bachelors and my Masters in Political Science at the same time.

I jammed it all in there, baby. When I'm done with that, the plan is to get a JD.

I'm a masochist, that's why.

Currently, I work in a lab processing specialty genetic testing. You know, DNA. It's completely fascinating. (And for a few months minutes I considered switching my major. Which would mean I was at the wrong school. Because I do love my fiancé, I did not.)

I didn't say it made sense.

I never make sense.

I lost you, didn't I?

*Sigh*