So I'm stuck.
With words, I mean. I have been gaining a little weight lately, but no, I am not calling for help over the ether because I've somehow gotten jammed in the doorway and happen to be carrying my laptop.
Besides, you never are really alone around this place. There's no doubt whatsoever in my mind that should I ever be in an awkward and embarrassing situation in this building, the students who would be most likely to make fun of me and never let me live it down would be the very ones to round the corner in the next thirty seconds.
Speaking of which, I was out running errands with MTL last night at Walmart, prepping for our Memorial Weekend camping trip
(Yeah, we're both planners. This means we have both literal and mental checklists and are collecting the required items gradually as finances permit. He is My Kind of Person, yo.)
(And yes, that would include a sizable dose of dork, thankyouverymuch.)
and who should be standing in the checkout lane next to ours but H., my own personal busybody student? Heh. She's the student I have to fend off every day because she would really like to know as many details about my Personal Life as possible. She's also the one student who has now managed to run into me twice, both times when I was in MTL's company. You should see the glee in her eyes. It's a good thing she's harmless. Just sayin'.
Anywho. About being stuck. You may have noticed I haven't written many posts lately. That's where I'm stuck.
I've written nearly a dozen posts in the last two weeks that have either been scrapped entirely or left to languish in my draft list. Prose, poetry, humor, pathos: the topics and tones have ranged all over the place. Not a single one has been worth publishing. For Pete's sake
(By the way, who IS Pete? And why are we always doing things for his sake? I wonder about these things. Again, DORK. Yes. I know.)
the only reason I even published that Mother's Day poem is because I felt I really needed to post something, and that was the best I could do. It's okay. Just...not what I really wanted to get out there. Not what was in my mind before I started typing.
That's the issue, you know. The words echoing in my brain aren't making their way onto the screen very well. I've tried using topics and memes suggested by other bloggers. I've tried writing on paper first. I've tried asking for suggestions from friends and coworkers. The results? Pretty much linguistic scat.
Here's the other piece: the posts I've really wanted or needed to write don't have a place here, or are ill advised due to timing, or would hurt feelings. Or all three. So those words remain unwritten. I say them, mind you, to that special group of people who are my constant support. It's a bigger group than I always realize, you know. Certainly larger than it was this time last year. It fluctuates a little, depending on the topic, depending on the time. There is a consistent core.
I'm not alone. I'm not depressed. I'm not freaking out.
But I'm stuck. And it's damn frustrating.
3 years ago