Diapers and Dragons

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I've Got Them Under My Skin. Kind of Like Chiggers.

So Wanderlust tagged me for a meme about Seven Things That Get Under My Skin (but not in the Frank Sinatra sort of way) and it's honestly more about narrowing down the list than coming up with ideas. Especially today because OMG I was hanging on to my temper with a death grip at one point this afternoon, I kid you not. It was one of those moments where I had to shut my mouth and just breathe, then decide NOT to address the issue that was standing there in the room like the biggest frickin' pachyderm ever described by Rudyard Kipling (Oh Best Beloveds) and instead move on while talking in a very very very calm and soft voice. This served to send every student in the room into a stock-still nervous hush because they could tell the slightest slip might send me over the edge and they apparently wanted to survive the day.

Smartest thing they did all hour.

Anywho, here are my grumpy seven things that are currently getting under my skin (and I'm keeping a smallish scope here, people, because it could get ugly otherwise.)


Politicians. Pretty much all the time and everywhere, but especially (right now) the Michigan ones who have apparently decided that their budget woes can be solved by screwing all the public servants and state employees, especially the teachers, police officers, and firefighters. BECAUSE THEY CAN.


Lazy students. Like mine today. The ones who've had a week to work on a project WITH class time to do so and chose today--the Due Day--to come up and tell me they weren't done and needed more time. Or the ones who had a presentation but had obviously invested as little effort as possible. It's a good thing this year is almost over, both for my blood pressure and their continued existence.


The smokers whining about the changed law here in Michigan. Especially the ones who believe that second-hand smoke is a myth. I KID YOU NOT. Makes me want to grab their little cancer sticks and shove them in a different orifice so they can enjoy a special kind of smoking experience.


The legal system. Especially the way it's been designed to make it as difficult as possible, if not practically impossible, to do anything without resorting to lawyers. It's a self-propagating, parasitic process that sucks us "regular" people dry. As Arby commented to me last week, judges are just lawyers in a referee outfit. And as Shakespeare wisely humorously wrote in Henry VI: The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.*


Bureaucratic nonsense--especially bureaucratic nonsense that costs money. The district hired a firm to run an audit of all the dependents carried on health insurance by district employees. You know, to make sure we're not lying bastards or whatever it is they think we are. I never received my audit in the mail, or it got misplaced (you know, what with the whole weird living situation thing), so here I get an email today about it, and I have to come up with all this paperwork proving the existence of my dependents. It needs to be postmarked by May 31st. WHICH IS MEMORIAL DAY. /headdesk

So I'm scrambling to get that together and mailed by Friday at the latest.

And how is this audit being funded? Oh, don't worry. It's not being paid for up front by the district. No, it will be paid out of the premium savings made through the audit.


Telling a certain someone that he needs to get a certain task accomplished for OVER A MONTH only to discover, yet again, that it was not accomplished. And knowing full well, all the time, that eventually I will have to give in and just do it my own damn self, give him the receipt, and have him pay for it this time because I paid for it last time. Just like almost every one of these kinds of tasks we share. Passive aggressive, much? Also see: insanity.


KIDS WHO WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP even though it's getting insanely late and they'll be super grouchy in the morning when I have to get them up to go to school. I mean, at least they're being quiet. But the morning's gonna be a bitch.

There you go. I think I may have used up my grump allotment for the day. But WHOO does it feel good to get it out!

I'm now tagging:

DraftQueen at The Drafts Folder
Beth at BurkinaMom in France
Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka
MaryMac at Pajamas and Coffee
Nicola at Some Mothers Do Ave Em
Melissa at Rock and Drool

And since the whining gets to even me, let's relax a bit and listen to something much nicer.

*For the sake of legal protection, I state for the record that I am not, in fact, promoting or condoning violence toward anyone, no matter how scum-sucking or sharklike he or she may be. Ahem.

10 bits of love:

Wanderlust said...

G'dang woman! You didn't waste any time getting this done. Oh, and uh, I have another little something for you when I can get around to getting THAT post done.

Gotta love passive aggressive. But why did we have to go and marry it, ay?

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

Everybody hates us smokers today. Oh well. We suck. (Geddit? We *suck*. Haha!!)

Ed Pilolla said...

you are hysterical. kids who will not go to sleep and lazy students. i was laughing out loud. i'm so glad to have found you and your blog. i love the art choices you use.

Mrs.Mayhem said...

Oh, I couldn't agree more with #3. My dad is a heavy smoker and my mom quit over 20 years ago, but they can drone on and on about "smokers' rights." Drives me crazy.

mom said...

I'm with you . . . and am now listening to something nicer. :)

marymac said...

You had me at "Frank Sinatra" and I will be on this post in the upcoming week!

xoxo and thanks for choosing me along with those FAB other bloggers!

Draft Queen said...

Hi, remember me? I'm your pre-law, political friend?

I'm not going to take that stuff personally.

GingerB said...

Like Draft Queen I will choose to not take this attack personally because in fact, I am a judge, and a lawyer in referee garb. Don't apologize to me on my blog, I am incognito. You make me feel less bad about never doing the last meme you tagged me with. Can I do this one instead? Isn't it shorter?

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Great post, and totally agree especially with the smokers one and the politicians issue -- even the politicians whose views I agree with (ie screaming liberals) seem slimier by the week...

I would add people who text and drive, starlets famous for no reason and no talent, and skinny bitches who claim they can eat whatever they want and don't exercise. Just sayin....

marymac said...

Fyi linked back to this post today:
wanted you to know I added the link to your post- forgot last night.


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