Diapers and Dragons

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I Has a Bucket

Apparently the thing to do these days is to have a Bucket List. You know, the things you want to do/accomplish before you kick the bucket. Shuffle off the mortal coil. Run down the curtain. Sleep with the fishes. Pay Charon's fare. Buy the farm. Check out. Dance the last dance. Give up the ghost. DIE.

(You want some other euphemisms? Check out this list. Boy, we'll do just about anything not to say the actual word, won't we?)

I haven't thought about my Bucket List much. I mean, I've said there are things I want to do "someday," but my comment about riding a motorcycle a while back? That's the first time I can remember specifically thinking about doing something before I /whisper/ die.

It's just not the way I generally think. But I'm getting older, yo, and what with my bones creaking and popping and my body acting in general as though it's a goodish bit older than I actually am, I've started thinking about the kinds of things I'd like to do before Death gets in the way. Or even, really, General Physical Infirmity, because that may come sooner than I'd like. Let's be realistic, peoples.

And it turns out a slew of my students already have Bucket Lists, which makes me wonder if it's just the influence of media or if by some miracle more of them have a concept of mortality than generally is the case. Mind you, some of the items on their lists might make mortality more of a reality than a concept, but it's a step.

Anywho, I figured I might as well do my own Bucket List. So here you go--the list of things I'd like to do before I push up daisies*:

1. Ride a real motorcycle. Possibly even drive it. Because I'm a Total Badass like that.
2. Visit Australia and New Zealand. Lauren, I still have an open invitation to crash with you, right?
3. Tour the ancient monuments and places from mythology in Greece. I've only been obsessed since I was seven.
4. Publish some of my writing. And no, blogging doesn't count. Any agents out there?
5. Learn how to do some real ballroom dancing. This may need to be sooner rather than later, as I have a feeling artificial joints, walkers, and/or wheelchairs might make things difficult.
6. Win a teaching award. Because I'm modest like that, yo.
7. .....

Ack. This is where my mind goes blank. I mean, there are things I'd LIKE to do. Travel around Europe more. Visit all fifty states. Learn how to make a chocolate souffle. But they're not the sorts of things that make me feel like my life will have been incomplete if I die before they're accomplished, you know?

Does this mean I'm insufficiently ambitious? Does this mean I'm a loser?

Does this mean my bucket is undersized?!?

Cuz I hear that sometimes size DOES matter.


What about you? What's on YOUR bucket list?

*Except I've decided to be cremated instead** and have my ashes scattered because the idea of my preserved remains sticking around in a lead-lined box is just creepy, people, and I don't feel like going through the rigamarole of arranging for a burial au naturel, a la pine box. Plus apparently the level of preservatives present in our food is rendering postmortem preservation pretty much unnecessary these days, and that's even more icky. Just sayin'.

**And yes, I totally get the irony of my not having a Bucket List but knowing what I want done with my body after death. I also know which hymns*** and scripture verses**** I want read at my memorial. I said I'm a planner, people!!!

***"It Is Well With My Soul" and "Amazing Grace". And no, I don't care if that's totally predictable and cliche. They're still my favorites and the lyrics mean a lot to me. So there.

****Psalm 23 (King James Version) and Psalm 51 (New Living Translation). What I said.

8 bits of love:

Draft Queen said...

Dancing. Oh my. I totally told N that we have to dance on our trip, to which he gave me his look of "Lady, you are either crazy or completely misguided" which means, um, yeah.

So I explained I didn't mean club dancing I meant ballroom dancing and then he gave me his "I'd do it if I knew it meant a lot to you, but I think you are still full of shit" look.

Then I thought about it and I decided I need to take a "ladies" cruise with my chicas and we can party. I insist you be there. It would be great, you with the popping and creaking and me all out of breath and sleepy.

Arby said...

I would like to know, before I die, that I helped one person to come to saving faith in Christ. I know that I cannot make anyone believe. That is in the power of the Holy Spirit and Christ Himself. If I can assist anyone on that journey, that’s enough for me.

Wanderlust said...

Can I stow away in your bucket when you go to Australia? Please?

But first I'm going to go visit Arby and be saved. Oh wait. No I'm not. I forgot. I'm totally not into that.

Kristen @ Motherese said...

I want to spend time vacationing in one of those white-washed villas in the Mediterranean, reading, eating, and relaxing in every conceivable way. Ahh, what a dream!

GingerB said...

You know, I'd always thought of cremation as my general outcome, beause stories all bodies in cemetaries seems a little wrong, and I think the visiing one's parents' graves concept is sort of waning. But then, there I was a t the credit union, refinancing my car, and the loan officer doing my pape3rs said he had to check my VIN. We went outside and I said, gosh who burn ed th toast and does that happen all the time? Is there a coffee roaster close by? He told me it was the crematorium on the same block. I am totally rethinking it now that I know office workers everythwere are plagued by the smell and thinking it is large scale toast burning. Ugh.

PantsWithNames said...

Personally, I'd settle for a bit more sleep and to learn how to cook decently. But then right now I'm tired and hungry so I may need to think again later after food and kip!

Heidi said...

I want to go around the world and visit, insofar as possible, all the continents. I've always liked that idea.

I like "It Is Well..." also. I think it was one of the hymns at my grandfather's funeral. I'd go for that too, except I'm still doubting if I have a soul ;)

Lauren said...

Marisa, you are always welcome to our home in Australia or New Zealand -- where-ever we are.

And, actually, we love having visitors, so your brother and sister and cousins and parents and friends and their friends and their pets' former owner's mother-in-law are also welcome!

Would love to see you again, dear friend!

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