Diapers and Dragons

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

mea culpa

i find myself welling with anger
so easily
so quickly
the snap of a finger at a single word
no patience left
the well is dry

"i see stupid people"
he writes
and i can only agree
yet wonder if perhaps i see them
through a glass tinted darkly
my own shadows taint the light

the road has been long and weary
and although it draws to a close
uncertainty clouds the finish line
not in whether it was the right road to travel
but whether the end lies as close as it seems

so much could go wrong
still
concealed tripwires
unseen holes
camouflaged stones that may yet bruise my feet

i am worn
yet taut with strain
counting the hours
while knocking on wood
fearful still of Murphy and his thrice-cursed law

so find myself snapping
stretched thin and angry
throttling the words that threaten to erupt
from a throat raw with tension

forgive me
even though i know what i do
extend me grace
beyond what i have given you

and perhaps
tomorrow
perhaps
perhaps

6 bits of love:

Wanderlust said...

What a beautiful poem. I'm not sure what the road is that you are traveling, but you've articulated so well the uncertainty and fear and, well, humanness that we all experience at the end of long and perhaps lonely journey. Anger is okay. Lenses rarely remain clear for long, and I think that's okay. We only need that clarity when we crest the hills. xo

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

Ouchies. Beautifully written but.

Dad said...

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. Eph 3:16 NLT

Beck said...

Beautiful poem, but I hope that today is a better day. And filled with fewer stupid people.
xo

ed said...

this was a great internal ride. and you seemed to give me as much hope as you could possibly give at the end, while remaining true to how you felt, which wasn't an abundance of hope, more like hope for hope that it's gonna get better. this was good and real. my favorite part was a little acceleration with these words, felt like:
concealed tripwires
unseen holes
camouflaged stones.
good vision.

mom said...

Uncanny how your hunch proved right. But you will get through this yet! And Friday's post showed you reaching beyond the frustration to beauty and deep feeling. Love you.

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